


Kaleidoscope Heart

by blackkat



Series: Silly SakuOro AUs [10]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coitus Interruptus, Family, Humor, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Overprotective children, Sakumo can handle this, Shovel Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-21 20:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13748673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: “Sensei, who is that?” Anko demands, leveling a finger at Sakumo. For all her earlier enthusiasm, those pale brown eyes are almost unnervingly sharp, and Sakumo has to resist the urge to take a step back. “And why is he in your bedroom?”She’s probably sixteen. There's no way that question isn’t a setup, Sakumo thinks. And beyond that, she calls Orochimaru sensei the way any other child would say mom or dad. Sakumo isn’t entirely sure he’s prepared for where this conversation is going.





	Kaleidoscope Heart

The most beautiful creature Sakumo has ever seen is leaning over him, a smirk on dark lips, bright golden eyes heavy-lidded, and he can't breathe, can't think, can't do anything but reach up to catch dark hair between his fingers, ready to pull him down into a kiss—

Someone starts pounding on the door.

“Orochimaru-sama!” the young woman Sakumo met briefly before calls, sharply enough that it’s a warning not to ignore her. “Orochimaru-sama, Anko and Kabuto are back!”

On top of him, Orochimaru freezes, eyes narrowing. His hand doesn’t move from where it’s halfway under Sakumo's nicest kimono shirt, but he pitches his voice loud enough to be heard and says, “They're not due back until next week.”

“Tell them that.” Shizune sounds entirely unimpressed, something she probably gets from her mentor, though Sakumo had admittedly only encountered the head of Oto’s hospital very briefly on his tour. Being Konoha's ambassador to the new village is apparently less than impressive for Senju Tsunade, and she’d brushed him off barely three sentences past an introduction.

Not that Sakumo _minds_ , given where he’s ended up instead.

That looks to be changing, though, because Orochimaru closes his eyes like he’s praying for patience, then sits back and withdraws his hand from its spot against Sakumo's skin. “One moment,” he says, sounding resigned, and Sakumo can't help the unhappy sound he makes as Orochimaru slides all the way off of him. He lets go of that long, pretty hair, though, and sits up as well.

Orochimaru shoots him a faintly regretful look for half a second, then turns away, quickly putting his hair to rights and straightening his yukata. “My apologies,” he says, and if he were anyone else that tone would be frazzled. “Apparently I am required, but—”

“It’s all right.” Sakumo sits up as well, retying his sash, and he’s disappointed, but they’ve already had two full days of only rarely leaving this room, and regardless of how much effort Sakumo has put into…cultivating peaceful relations between Konoha and Oto—much effort, and all of it _immensely_ enjoyable—he should probably do some things that count as diplomatic and can be included in his mission report without making Minato blush. “Important jounin?”

Hands busy twisting his long hair up into a loose knot, Orochimaru makes a sound of irritation. “No,” he says, annoyed, and then pauses. Grudgingly, he adds, “Well. Yes. But that’s not why I'm needed. It’s—”

Deftly, Sakumo steps up behind him and catches his hands, untangling the bun from where it’s knotted around the tie. “Easy,” he murmurs, and presses a careful kiss to the curve where Orochimaru’s neck meets his shoulder. When Orochimaru goes still, somewhere between surprised and wary, Sakumo ghosts a hand down his side and then carefully winds the length of black hair into a simple bun and secures it.

“You're a man of hidden talents,” Orochimaru says, and this is thankfully mothing more than amused.

Sakumo hums, curving his hands around Orochimaru’s sleekly muscular bicep and dropping another kiss on his cheek, then steps away and offers his arm. “Many hidden talents,” he offers with a wink, and Orochimaru chuckles. His gaze falls to Sakumo's arm like he’s debating taking it, and—

“SENSEI!”

The bedroom door crashes open so hard Sakumo is absolutely certain he hears it crack, and a violet-haired shape comes flying through. Sakumo has half a second to see Orochimaru’s eyes widen before the Otokage is gone, leaping up and over the kunoichi’s head as she skids past him, bounces off the wall, and careens back around. Her eyes lock on Orochimaru, just landing lightly in the middle of the floor, and she leaps for him again without pause.

An arm, a good ten feet long and moving like rubber, wraps around her waist and hauls her back, and a little boy with pale blue hair and Orochimaru’s golden eyes slips past her as she goes flying back out the door.

“We’re home,” he says cheerfully, arm shrinking back to a more regular length. “It was a successful mission.”

Orochimaru eyes him, eyes the doorway, and asks in a tone that says he’d really rather not, “Where is Kabuto?”

That cheeky smile widens, and the boy shifts his expression into lines that are probably supposed to be innocent. “Like I said, it was a successful mission! We lost him in Hot Springs Country.”

Sakumo feels an eyebrow creep upwards.

“You did not,” an annoyed voice says, and a moment later a boy with grey hair and dark eyes drags the violet-haired girl back into the room, hanging onto her arm. “You _tried_ , but you didn’t manage it.”

“Almost successful,” the youngest boy amends, and sticks his tongue out at the grey-haired boy.

“Mitsuki,” Orochimaru says reprovingly, but before he can get out so much as another word the girl makes a sharp, interested noise.

“Sensei, who is _that_?” she demands, leveling a finger at Sakumo. For all her earlier enthusiasm, those pale brown eyes are almost unnervingly sharp, and Sakumo has to resist the urge to take a step back. “And why is he in your _bedroom_?”

She’s probably sixteen. There's no way that question isn’t a setup, Sakumo thinks. And beyond that, she says _sensei_ the way any other child would say _mom_ or _dad_. Sakumo isn’t entirely sure he’s prepared for where this conversation is going.

Orochimaru gives her a narrow look that says he’s also entirely aware of what she’s aiming for. “This is Hatake Sakumo,” he says precisely, even as he takes a step forward and attempts to shoo them out of the room. “Konoha's ambassador, here to discuss the fact that the Yondaime offered his support for Oto joining the Five Great Nations. Your mission—”

“You have a hickey,” the grey-haired boy observes, one brow rising.

Orochimaru doesn’t flush, but in a way that speaks more to a familiarity with child-inflicted mortification than anything else. Sakumo is intimately familiar with that, seeing as he raised Kakashi. It’s very, very difficult dealing with genius children, and if Orochimaru really has three of them, Sakumo is willing to offer all of his sympathy.

“What's a hickey?” the blue-haired boy wants to know. Loudly, of course. He can't be more than five, but Sakumo would bet his tantō that he already knows precisely what it is, or can at least work it out. “Kabuto, what's that?”

“Something you’ll find out about in ten years,” Orochimaru cuts in before Kabuto can do more than open his mouth. “Anko, Kabuto, why don’t you head to the kitchens and get some lunch?”

Anko and Kabuto trade speaking looks, then both turn to stare at Sakumo like very large predators. “Sure!” Anko says cheerfully, and in an instant she’s across the room, grabbing one of Sakumo's arms as Kabuto takes the other. Sakumo hasn’t felt this kind of killing intent in years, honestly. “We’ll take Mister Ambassador here with us and show him around!”

“Anko, no—” Orochimaru starts, but half a second later a blue-haired cannonball slams into his stomach and knocks him right off his feet.

“And I’ll stay here with our parent!” Mitsuki offers cheerfully. “You can tell me the story of how you and Tsunade and the pervert ran away to found your own village again!”

The noise Orochimaru makes is either protest or a wheeze, but Sakumo isn’t allowed to stay to find out which. He’s frog-marched out of the room with a teenager on either elbow, more like he’s being dragged away to an execution than to lunch.

“Hi!” Anko says, murderously cheerful as she beams up at him. “I'm Mitarashi Anko! You had sex with sensei, didn’t you?”

“Of course he did,” Kabuto says, nudging his glasses up his nose a little, until they catch the light in such a way as to completely hide his eyes. “What I want to know is why.”

Sakumo looks from one to the other, brows rising. “I'm not going to discuss you parent’s sex life with you,” he says mildly.

“Sure you are!” Anko disagrees cheerfully. “’Cause if you have a bad reason we get to cut you into pieces and experiment with them! Auntie Tsunade said so.”

…It’s possible Sakumo underestimated Tsunade, just by a little. However, he’s not about to tell these kids that he walked in on Orochimaru changing because of a mix-up in messages and then ended up in bed with him.

“I'm afraid you're mistaken,” he says politely, and with a deft twist slips free of both of them, mostly to prove he can. They're not _actually_ a threat to him, and given that they're Orochimaru’s, proving that will probably earn him their respect more quickly than anything else. “I'm not going to tell you why, but I _will_ say that your parent is very powerful and very lovely.”

Anko blinks, leans around Sakumo to meet Kabuto's gaze, and frowns. She pulls back and levels a dark look at Sakumo, folding her arms over her chest. “That’s a fine _start_ ,” she says threateningly, “but you're on thin ice, Mister Diplomat.”

Kabuto makes a noise of agreement, eyes narrowed threateningly behind his glasses.

Sakumo smiles cheerfully at both of them, fully reminded of Kakashi just a few years ago. “Noted,” he says agreeably, and keeps walking. “Now, why don’t we make up a few trays and bring them back to Orochimaru’s quarters? You’ve probably missed him, and I know he hasn’t eaten since early this morning.”

Kabuto's smile is thin and threatening. “And how exactly would you know that?” he asks.

There's really, truly no winning with these two, Sakumo thinks, watching Anko’s smile slide into something vicious.

Sadly, that doesn’t mean Sakumo is going to stop trying. It just means he’s going to have to start applying shinobi tactics to his encounters with Orochimaru.

Challenging, but doable. Sakumo probably should have expected that, honestly.

(He’s finding that he rather doesn’t mind the trial, or that even when he does, Orochimaru is worth it.)


End file.
